Conyo's tale

During my elementary days, she’s just this cute but snobbish, slightly annoying, with oh so many Mickey Mouse thingies, pajama-wearing girl neighbor of mine…

In my high school days, I barely see her as I spend most of my time being a full of angst teenager in Cavite City. She sometimes goes to our house during weekends to exasperate the crap out of my twin brothers. Most often than not, she’s carrying food with her, i.e. Pringles, Lays, chocolates, mani, etc., which she will not share willingly (except to me) that would result to her being evicted from our house by one of the twins. I would often hear her name being shouted by her Tita; don’t exactly know what shenanigans she did for her to be called in an eardrum-blasting kind of manner but there was even a time when I saw (from our living room window) her literally being pulled up on her pigtails by her Tito because of her kakulitan. During our Batang Looban New Year Parties, she constantly gets the Singhot-Buga award for her being “batang onse all year round”.

Come my college days that we became so close; I can’t exactly remember when it started. I just got used to waking up during weekends with her hovering at my bed, sometimes standing on my bed; as in standing...on…my…bed, and I often wake up seeing her sleeping on my other bed (I’ve got this pull-out bed and she often gets sleepy waiting for me to get up for I usually wake up waaaay too late around noon). We talk about everything; from our school works, my college friends, our own crushes, my stalking moments, my senti mode and all… I love telling my stories to her coz she’s a very receptive listener and so mababaw ang kaligayahan just like me that we always almost piss our pants laughing even about the mundane things of our life.

She’s also very honest about her opinions and she’s not like one of those estupida girls who would just always say what you want to hear. There was this one time that I was throwing a hissy fit for my ngarag na crush because he did not understand the poem that I shared with him. As usual, she and I are in my room and after reading the poem that I was talking about, she said, “e kahit ako nga hindi ko din ma-gets yan. Patula-tula ka pa kasi e. Puro ka senti!” Her candidness made me smile and had it not been for her comment, I would wallow into sadness because I was not able to connect with my ngarag na crush.

One more makasaysayan feature about her is that she’s extremely “conyo” in the truest balbal na meaning of the word. She rubbed it off me a bit, and we had this thing that we convert Tagalog addresses into literal English.

Come on boys and girls, can you guess what these words are in Thigelog? (ala mga conyo host ng Pilipino Ka, Sabihin Mo!):

1. St. John One
2. St. Claire
3. Crack na Rock


Are you ready for the answers, boys and girls?..

Well, the answers are: San Juan Uno, Santa Clara at Biak na Bato. Tehehehe! Super corny na conyo us! Toinks! I wonder how she would translate Manggambukol at Pasong Kalabaw in conyo term now?..

One time she was reading my cellphone phonebook and she goes like this:
Mama Ey - (pronounced): /ma-ma-ey/
Mommy - /ma-mi/
Nicky - /ni-ki/
Oscar - /os-kar/
Parekoy - /pa-re-koy/
Pasaway - /pas-a-wei/

I laughed so hard when I heard her saying “pas-a-wei” instead of “pasa-way”. Extreme conyo in the house!!!

Mid my college life, she went to Japan… I remember going to Iloilo for summer vacation and when I came home, I learned that she will not be in Japan for just a vacation but she will actually be living there. Devastated as I was for being away with the younger makulet na sister that I never had, I chose to be happy for her for I know that she’ll have more opportunities there. She’s an intelligent batang singhot buga and I know that her potentials would be well maximized in the land of sushi than in the land of pancit malabon.

Taena, ang haba na pala ng pinagsusulat ko; malingering in the office na ako. Anyway… The person that I’m talking about is my imaginary friend, Mulan. I miss you, Mulan…

**************************************

 Wahahaha! Napapraning na naman ako!!! Actually, It’s Joycie. JOYCE NUESTRO SIDOCON TANI patani. She demanded that I do a blog about her; though even if she did not mention it, I would still do so coz I am so very proud of her latest pursuit, which is to organize a fundraising to help the Quake/Tsunami victims in Japan. She even ended up in the Global Edmonton News (I had goose bumps while reading it):


http://www.globaltvedmonton.com/Plans+local+relief+efforts+Japan+underway/4433318/story.html

It’s obvious that she has a very big heart for stepping up and doing something to help those who are in need. And though I never imagined that she would grow up to be that big (har, har), I always dreamed of her doing great things in life. I’m so proud of you, bebe conyo!

To quote Mushu from the movie Mulan, “My baby is all grown up… and saving China (well in Joycie’s case, saving Japan)!

xoxo!

Yan yan!

Nyam, nyam, nyam! Yey, YAN YAN!!! I get to eat Yan Yan again after so many years... Its magic is not lost on me at all. Masarap talaga ang Yan Yan. Nakakatuwa pa ang mga wala lang na words na nakalagay sa mga stick biscuits. Nonsense lang; parang itong blog post na to. hehehe!

No more 10-20 in 2010

"Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, one hundred!”

Yessah! The game 10-20… I used to play this a lot when I was a kid. This and Chinese garter and luksong baka and piko... Hey, I realize I’ve never been the “baka” in luksong baka game! Ang galing ko nga pala tumalon. Yey, I rediscovered something that I’m good at! I’ve got talent after all! Well… it’s a pretty useless talent but talent nonetheless. I’m also pretty good at piko, mainly because I’ve got this flat pamato that I found near the garden of our elementary school. My playmate, James got annoyed of that thing and threw it at a nearby canal. I got so pissed off so I punched him on the face then grabbed his hair and pulled him towards the canal while saying, “pulutin mo ung pamato ko, pulutin mo sa kanal!!!”

Anyway, back to what I mean to write… yep, about 2010. (Hmmm… I forgot what I’m about to write coz all I can think about now is why I always get distracted with pointless thoughts when I’m writing… Do I have ADHD? I better finish writing this note so I can cross out one of the symptoms)…

Moving on… I wonder if kids nowadays know how to play piko or 10-20? I don’t see children playing outside anymore or hear them singing play songs with wrong lyrics like, “I love you teleber-teleber, bi ay bi, water bi, Shaider, Shaider love Annie!” Do they even know Shaider?

Last July, I went home for a vacation and I get to spend a lot of time in our good old looban. There, whenever I see my neighbors’ children outside, they are usually on their way to the computer center to play counter strike, dota or to chat online and visit their social networking sites and as they go, they often say something to me like, “Te Mi, add mo ko as neighbor sa resto city ha” or “Te Mi, padalhan mo ko ng peach saka zinnia tapos attack mo nga si Barbie sa SL, terminally depressed nako dahil sa kanya e.” My mom asked me if I know what they’re talking about coz it seems to her that those kids are talking gibberish. I just said to her, “alam nyo naman mga bata ngayon, sobrang techie na.” Then she said, “Ano naman ung teki???” hehehe…

Now another year is here; 2010 na. It still amazes me how time goes so fast. So many things happened; so many improvements have been made… Kids are no longer fond of physical games, they’re so into computers; I even saw a four year old kid opening a laptop, scanning her finger to log in and go to facebook and feed her virtual fishes in Happy Aquarium application.

Kakaiba na talaga ang panahon ngayon. I just hope that by the time I have my own kids, they can get the chance to enjoy playing games like 10-20, piko, langit lupa and jump rope while singing i love you teleber teleber… I hope by that time, in na ulit ang mga larong ganun. Sana naman kasi ayoko silang ma-obese.

green apples, cloud nines and tears

My earliest Christmas memory was that when I was 4. My mom woke me up with a kiss and gave me the big sock that I hung near my bedside window 2 nights before. In the stocking I found green apples and Cloud 9 chocolates, which I immediately open and gobble up like it’s just normal to find foods on Christmas stocking and not gifts.

Really, I was not expecting gifts coz my mom did not tell me that ‘Santa will come to our house and leave gifts under, if not inside my hanged stocking at Christmas Eve (only if you’re good) kind of crap.’ She just told me that I’ll get my gifts from her and daddy and maybe from some other people later after we went to church. And then we’ll eat together with the rest of our relatives and have a great time.

For the rest of my childhood, I had my perfect Christmases and I literally grew up as a happy kid with apples and chocolates during Jesus’ birthday.

Then puberty stage sets in and the I’m-always-crying-during-Christmas phase began. I don’t exactly remember what started that but since 2nd year of high school up to last year, I spend a small portion of my Christmas day crying. From trivial things like broken eyeliner, melted ice cream and cheesy TV commercials to who came back late into the house can be a reason for me to cry. I’m not actually sad about all those things; it’s just that when my Christmas seems even little bit less perfect, my tear ducts suddenly get it’s own mind and produces all the waterworks it can let out. And after that, it will all turn out A-okay and I’ll get to have another yuletide season of joy.

Now, why am I writing all these?.. Maybe to get myself into the holiday spirits… To remind myself that I used to be this happy girl who’s always optimistic of having a happy Christmas; who always gets her happy Christmas.

As I write this note less than a day before Christmas, I still feel so blue. I’m not sure why; it’s not as if it’s my 1st Christmas away from home but I just can’t find my happy mood to tolerate Dubai’s no big deal attitude towards my favorite holiday. Oh well, whatever. I should not care what they think. SERIOUSLY! I’m going to snap out of this holiday blues and start having a merry little Christmas time!

Will start singing: C is for the candy trimmed around the Christmas tree, H is for the happiness for all the family…

Oh God, why do I always seem to have bipolar disorder when I write?..

Maybe I’ll go get some apples and chocolates later.

Har, har, har!

elementarya

Bioman, Chicadee, Mirinda, Shaider, water guns, pick up sticks, Sailor Moon, luksong baka, Cedie, ube, braids, Mary and the Secret Garden, siatok, baseball, undin, bazooka, texas, cherryball, crayola, Care Bears, Pong Pagong, Kiko Matsing, halaya, Robert Akizuki, Annie, Little Twin Stars, feeding, tart, yema, Sunny orange, basaan sa San Juan, mga batang looban, pagbubunot ng damo, gantsilyo, blade, pakwan, bukid ni Totoy bato, dyame, Maria, Lotie, Ermengard, ilog, itlog ng palaka at suso, Baby Love the movie, Nenuco, Funny Komiks!, nano candy, panda panda na parang chippy, nerds, matchbox, piko, chinese garter...

Hay... Ang sarap maging bata!

my first babble...

Naturally, the proper way of starting a blog is to talk about yourself.


Hweee...
Imbento ko lang un.

Actually,I just can't help being the narcissistic me so here goes...


Michelle – that’s the given name in my birth certificate.

I do not like it and I often get startled when someone calls me that. Looking back and racking my brain what might be the underlying reason for such absurdity, it brought me to the realization that I associate my real name with my elementary teachers and the instances when they always call me to give me tasks which are utterly and embarrassingly annoying like becoming a member of an inter-district speech choir contest with almost 50% of the script to be recited ‘dramatically’ by me, parading as one of the humble people who went to the manger to celebrate the birth of Jesus (my face was smeared with charcoal powder and I was carrying bananas and malunggay during the whole parade then kneeling for almost 30 minutes during the reenactment), joining pageants (e.g. Ms. United Nations, Ms. Girl Scout and Mutya ng Aklatan [I’m having doubt what is more ridiculous-- for Girl Scouts or the library to have beauty contest])?!?… These and other stuff that all started with,”Michelle…”

I am a chocolate-dependent person.

I cannot recall a day in my adult life that I did not eat chocolate and most probably, if a day will come that I can’t get hold of one, I will not be able to finish that day without being bitchy and snappy at people.

Once I crave for a certain food, I will never give it a rest until my craving is satisfied; even if it means getting out of the house at night just to buy Sundae and eat it while walking on chilly February Tagaytay streets. Momon is always saying that I’m worse than a pregnant girl in her 1st trimester when it comes to food tripping.

My personality style has got features of obsessive-compulsiveness. One of the evidences of this is the fact that I cannot sleep without having arranged the pillows in a specific position identified by my head. Also, my books should not be touched, turned or re-arranged without notice and never to be folded otherwise I will be effin’ miffed. And, when I think of something, I will do it right away regardless of the timing (not only once did I get up in the middle of the night to pluck my eyebrows or to have a pedicure).

My bag is always heavy due to the unnecessary stuff that I always want to bring with me. Like the different colored gel pens that I have… My mom once asked me why I bother to bring them all. I answered her jokingly that it’s for when I encounter a dying, demented millionaire who would give me his entire estate if I have a unique-colored gel pen right then and there that he could use to sign all the necessary documents. Hwehehehehe…

Moreover, immediately after brushing my teeth, I will brush it again. Woa! Now that I’m writing this, I seem to be so abnormal. Waah… Hmm, but no, since I can still function well and not disrupting my normal way of living, I’m still sane. (I should stop writing like this before this whole thing turns out to be a Psychological Abstract).

Books are the main priority in my shopping list. The longest portion of my time in the mall would be spent in a bookstore and my trip is never considered happy and successful if I did not buy even just 1 paperback novel.

I don’t like guys who talk too much, especially guys who constantly repeat what he just said as if he’s talking to dumb people and nobody can get his point.

Climbing high places is one of my hobbies when I was a kid and up to now, I can easily climb trees, walls or roofs and I bet, till now I can win a tree climbing contest.

I believe that there is 1 default number in the universe and every wish that falls in that nth number would come true; we just don’t know what number is that. What I'm pretty sure is that 12 years ago, when I wished for my boobs not to grow, my wish fell into that nth number and came true. waah! :'(

Another competition that I can win is the “stay sober after drinking so much beer/vodka/tequila/martini etc. even gin bulag contest.” There used to be a wager that I’d give my one whole month salary to the person who can make me drunk while he/she stays in a conscious, clear-headed manner after a drinking session. But now the bet is off as I stopped drinking for the sake of being an improved girl and for realizing that drinking can do no good for people with peptic ulcer. Haller! Hehe…

Pepsi is my all time favorite drink. I know it can do no good for me but I like it!

There’s a belief that if a person is good in math, he/she does not excel in English or vice versa… I think it’s only a theory and it would never be substantiated into a truth. I like Math and English and I did pretty great on both subjects.

Kids like me. I can always make a baby smile and can absolutely relate to young people as if I’m one of them. I enjoy their company so much and we get along so well that sometimes I fear I’m suffering from regression. Lol!

I do not eat vegetables. It would not be good for me coz in this state, my body is so immune with the unhealthy foods that it is receiving and consuming vegetables, even just a little bit, would upset the healthy unhealthy state of my body.

I couldn’t care less about my hair. I only brush my hair after taking a bath on work days. If not, my hair is lucky if I ran my fingers into them.

I’m not comfortable wearing skinny jeans. I think it emphasizes my thighs and I worry that people might freak out at the sight of my humungous pata.

My energy level is heightened during evenings. I’m a nocturnal person and if I’m able to sleep before midnight, I’m on drugs (antihistamine). Hehe…

Before I die, I hope I could: (in no particular order) get to tour Europe, experience how to sky dive, ride a dolphin, drive & own a Wrangler Jeep and have a baby with my ning (I hope to accomplish this one before I turn 28.lol)!

Gilmore Girls, Will & Grace, Ally McBeal and the likes are the kind of TV series that interest me. Love watching witty shows with my Ate Maybs… She appreciates the subtle, brilliant comments that are usually hysterically funny the way that I do.

Until now, I can’t think of any useful talent that I have. I know how to dance but I cannot consider myself a great, graceful dancer; there is no team in any sports tournament that would want me as one of their players coz I am a major klutz. I never ever learned how to play musical instruments and I cannot draw a human caricature that would not be mistaken as a cartoon ant and my handwriting resembles barcodes.

And if you think that maybe I can sing, well, you’re mistaken. Few times I experienced that when I would sing a tune to ask my friends the title of that song, they would say, “could you just recite the lyrics instead of singing it?” waah… So to my friends who would happen to have a free time and care to read this note, if you ever think of one useful talent that I have, kindly inform me, okie?